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Hi, welcome to our blog! We are newlyweds living in Memphis, TN. We love life, adventure and of course each other. We're starting a blog to keep track of any and 'all things Jacques' so we can look back and cherish memories from our first year of marriage. We'll be sharing memories, I'm sure a lot of our dog Bella, favorite recipes, books, trips, spiritual thoughts, home projects, and anything we're enjoying in life at the moment! We hope you enjoy as well. Much love, Michael and Rachel Jacques

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Friday, October 25, 2013

The Virtuous Wife - A trustful heart & the freedom we have through Christ

Okay guys... my apologies for being so horrible with being timely on the blog! This post below I have had saved in drafts for about two months and it was 3/4 complete I just never had time to finish it ... until now! And so continues the Proverbs 31 series. Sorry it's taking so long! More to come about anniversary trip, fall recipes, etc! Thanks for your patience!!

It's September 6th (again sorry for the delay... it is now October 25th) which means it's one month until Michael and I's one year anniversary and my second Proverbs 31 deep dive blog post. For those of you who may have missed out on the first one you can read it here - (A Virtuous Wife - "a woman of strength"). I've decided to re-read and dive into Proverbs 31 to remind myself of what being a virtuous wife really means and to keep myself accountable.

The verse I'm focusing on today is:

"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain." Proverbs 31:11(NKJV)

I've been thinking a lot about this verse over the last month. It's a beautiful verse for sure but what does it mean? Other translations always seem to help a bit so I've listed them below.

"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value." (NIV)

"Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life." (NLT)

"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain." (ESV)

I tend to favor the NKJV and the NLT versions because I think they most accurately depict what the author is trying to portray. And just who is the author anyway? King Solomon wrote the majority of Proverbs but King Lemuel is thought to have written Proverbs 31. The funny thing is that no one is sure who King Lemuel is and many think that he was a fictional character that Solomon used and that Solomon himself may have written Proverbs 31 or maybe even Solomon's mother which would have been Queen Bathsheba. Solomon wrote the book of Proverbs when he was at the height of his power. Perhaps, his mother had some words of wisdom for him so he wouldn't make the same mistakes his father, King David, made? Who knows. I am just specultating. But one thing I do think for sure is that a woman wrote Provers 31.

Back to the verse. :) The reason I favor the NKJV and the NLT versions is because of the key word in them - trust. I truly believe that this is the root of a marriage and any relationship for that matter. I've found that it's can be easier for a woman to trust and open her heart than a man. I decided to do a little research of my own and try to be sneaky so I asked Michael one day, "Why do you trust me?". He thought I was crazy and said, "I don't know Rach, I just do". That's a man for ya isn't it? But to be honest a lot of times men don't know why they open up that spot in their heart and begin to fully trust you. He also proceeded to say, "You've never given me a reason not to." Now we come to the reasoning of a man's brain. :) Women tend to think and act on how they feel and their emotions while men are much more reasonable and think about facts and what they can justify. Neither way is wrong & both have it's pros and cons... we are just very different.

So when I think of why he trusts me (and I'm probably overanalyzing like most of us tend to do) I think it's because I have been there for him. I'm there in the good times and the bad. I ask questions that tug at his heart strings and sometimes make him discuss the hard stuff. In the end, I think it does us both good because he gets things off of his chest and I get to know what's on his heart. He knows that he can come home from a bad day and tell me anything and his secret and the secrets of his heart are safe with me. That's how he "safely" trusts me like the verse says. Some women I've known tell everything about what's going on in their relationships and while I think it's wonderful to have girlfriends and discuss your marriages and relationships I also think a marriage is supposed to be intimate and precious so I hold many things close to my heart that I don't share with anyone. There are private things that I only know about Michael and he only knows about me. We talk about our problems to each other not to everyone else... not even my mom although I must admit that is hard. :) But I've found that when we communicate with each other and sit down to discuss things we end up solving it within 5 minutes and the rest of the night is snuggles and laughter! So, ladies, I encourage you to communicate with your husbands, boyfriends and in any relationship you have. Communication and keeping things personal are key to trust, especially for a man.

The verse also says in the NLT version that she "will greatly enrich his life". Now, this I hope I am doing but I think it wouldn't be as easy to do if he wasn't enriching mine. I'm so thankful and so blessed to be in a marriage that works two ways. My favorite place in the whole world is to be at home with Michael. I think that my happiness naturally enriches his life because I am happy and willing to do the things that enrich his. I don't think it's always about doing things like having dinner ready or laundry done, but what I really have noticed is my personal state affects him. If I haven't been in the word and I am stressed out, he is stressed out. If there is something not right with me, there is something not quite right with him. It is so important for me to focus on my relationship with God first in order to enrich my life and his. This also works two ways. First and foremost, it's about your personal relationship with Christ. That is the key to true fullfillment and joy. Happiness is fleeting but joy is constant and our Savior provides that to anyone who is willing to accept it. So, I lean on God to be joyful in my home so that Michael will see that and after first leaning on God, he can also lean on me as well.

Enriching his life is more than being the best cook (THANK GOODNESS!)... although I think this cake for his last birthday turned out pretty good!

I'm doing this Proverbs 31 series because I think it's important for us to know these attributes that God finds precious about us. However, one thing I didn't realize until last night when I attended the Abingdon Women speakers at our church and heard Kim Dunnam Reisman speak event was that Proverbs 31 wasn't written for instruction. We (and I mean especially ME) have turned it in to a "to-do" list. It's meant to be an ode to women, not a list that we have to live up to. It bogs me down and makes me exhausted just thinking about doing everything this women did. But you know what? It doesn't tell us about her hard days does it? The days that she thinks she can't go on and she can't possibly do one more thing. But I think it sums it up nicely at the end. No matter what she does or how "perfect" she seems to be... it doesn't matter to God. What truly matters is that she fears the Lord. That's why she is praised. Not because she's the best wife, mother, philanthropist, etc.

One thing I'm realizing more and more is that I truly am free in Christ. I can read His word and strive to live up to those things that will glorify Him but at the end of the day I don't need to beat myself up and neither do you. I'm going to leave you with 2 things.

1) You are beautiful, smart, love and cherished by the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the name above all names. A friend of mine shared this video with me and I think you'll like it. Ladies, this is what God feels for you regardless of how "perfect" you are (thank goodness)!

Click here to see the video!

2) A verse that has been on my heart. We are free in Christ and I hope you can live that way today!

"But now we have been delivered from the law, having died to what we were held by, so that we should serve in the newness of the Spirit and not in the oldness of the letter."
Romans 7:6

I promise the next blog will come sooner rather than later and to speed things up a bit I'm going to do verses 12-15. Until next time.

In our sweet & precious Savior,

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